Michael Jackson is my biggest artistic inspiration (that is human). I was a fanatic in high school, in fact, I wanted to marry him desparately. Even after I graduated high school in 2005, Michael was never far from my thoughts. I did a self portrait of myself dressed as Michael in a drawing class during college (I have yet to post it. It included Disney characters as well). Some of you may have known about my love for Michael and possibly you shared it with me.

I was planning to go to Michael's London concert. I was hoping to buy VIP tickets soon, hopefully for an October show. I thought to myself, "This may be my last chance to see him live. I won't regret spending this much money on a credit card." One of my life's goals was to see Michael in person and meet him here on Earth. All I keep thinking is "Heaven Can Wait."

There is a part of me that wants to believe that he has staged this. I wouldn't be terribly surprised, although it does seem out of his character. As bad as that would be, at least there would be a chance of meeting him in person. If only I could hug him, kiss his cheek, and tell him how much he means to me. But if I'm completely honest, my gut says he really has passed on.

There are many reasons why he is such an inspiration to me. I could write a long thesis paper on it. His professional work is inspirational to me, although it is hard to articulate why in a way other people could understand. I always felt like Michael and I were soulmates (I believe people can have more than one). I'm sure MANY others feel the same way. I've planned over and over in my head what I'd say when I met him because I wouldn't want to blend with the crowd of fans or scare him off. He and I would have been friends given the opprotunity. We have very similar personalities. When he was doing a photoshoot with ET (for the ET Storybook) he had so much fun with ET and even kissed him on the cheek. When I read that in Michael's autobiography, "Moonwalk", I thought it was so sweet.

Just a few days ago I was listening to Michael's "Bad" album on the ride back from the "Art for the Animals" workshop I took at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in UT. Just before the workshop I watched Michael's "Private Home Movies" on youtube. His commentary on it is so cute! I also watched other fan videos that were very fun...most of which were made my female fans lol.

Katherine, Michael's mom, and his children...and the rest of the family...I send them positive energy.

I hope your transition was smooth. Finally you can take a walk or go to the grocery store without any problems.

I love you, Michael. See you in heaven. (I wonder if my Minee is interested in meeting Michael? He had listened to his music pretty often...)